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Dec.01.2008 Women’s breasts used to commit crime


Just when you thought women couldn’t get more deadly comes this piece of news from Uganda; a new trend is women rubbing chloroform on their ample bosoms to knock men out and steal all their belongings. Sexy and devious!

Uganda’s police warned male bar-goers to keep their noses clean after a probe found a gang of robbers had been using women with chloroform smeared on their chests to knock their victims unconscious.

“They apply this chemical to their chest. We have found victims in an unconscious state,” Criminal Investigations Directorate (CID) spokesman Fred Enanga told AFP.

“You find the person stripped totally naked and everything is taken from him,” he said. “And the victim doesn’t remember anything. He just remembers being in the act of romancing.”

Enanga, who explained that several types of heavy sedatives had been used, said he first came across the practice last year when an apprehended thief named Juliana Mukasa made a clean breast of the matter.

“She is a very dangerous lady,” the official said.

While it’s certainly true that Mufasa is dangerous (especially considering how she went from a noble cartoon lion to a life of breast-related crime), just about any woman is dangerous with or without chloroform. If she weren’t so lazy, she’d have just jerked him off or something to get rid of his load then, as he laid there paralyzed, just robbed him blind. Ooh or jerked him off with chloroform, that’d work too! Or maybe she could have put wax in her mouth and then sucked him off with a chloroform mint in her mouth. Really this just confirms what I already knew: I’d be the best sexy female criminal in the history of the world.

[See more of the breasts pictured above, belonging to Danielle Lloyd, here. Story source here]

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Comments

18 Responses to “Women’s breasts used to commit crime”

  1. College Candy » Candy Dish: Plaxico Burress Shoots Himself…Then Gets Arrested on December 1st, 2008 5:58 pm

    [...] We’ve used our breasts for good (like getting drinks); now women use them for evil. [...]

  2. Daily Trash Blog » Blog Archive » BREASTS USED TO COMMIT CRIMES! on December 1st, 2008 9:10 pm

    [...] via Source Posted by: lp_coco07 Breasts, Funny COMMENTS FEED: RSS 2.0 You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site. [...]

  3. Harry Barracuda on December 2nd, 2008 6:30 am

    Man they are slow catching on. Thai hookers in Nana Plaza, Bangkok, have been using knockout drops on their nipples for decades.

    They use lip balm to stop the chemicals being absorbed by their skin.

  4. lostinsweden (Stefan Halley) on December 2nd, 2008 7:58 am

    “Women’s breasts used to commit crime” http://tinyurl.com/6by27c

  5. Tuesday Morning Time Wasters: Yes, She’s Married to a Soccer Player | Quite to the Contrary on December 2nd, 2008 10:00 am

    [...] criminals are starting to play dirty. (Blog of [...]

  6. Afternoon Links on December 2nd, 2008 4:02 pm

    [...] Women’s breasts used to commit crime (Article) [...]

  7. F. C. King Links « Loser with Socks on December 3rd, 2008 8:50 am

    [...] Women’s breasts used to commit crime [...]

  8. kaneda on December 11th, 2008 12:27 pm

    I’ll believe it when I try it.

  9. Garrett deRosset on December 11th, 2008 12:33 pm

    The quoted article makes no mention of Chloroform. It is quite possible they are using something else. From what I’ve heard and read, it can take quite a big dose of chloroform to knock out a person, and even such a dose could take a while to ingest and may even cause brain damage. Just saying…

  10. mik on December 11th, 2008 5:53 pm

    what? chloroform acts pretty much instantly when inhaled.

  11. Chris on December 11th, 2008 9:28 pm

    Garrett, the quoted article mentions chloroform in the first paragraph. Reading is important.

  12. Tilly on December 12th, 2008 6:06 am

    “she’d have just jerked him off or something to get rid of his load then”
    crude, much?
    I think that’s very interesting.
    I may start doing that :)
    shame I live in the UK isn’t it?

  13. Fouad on December 15th, 2008 5:33 am

    :)) Yea! Nice trick…

  14. barry on December 20th, 2008 5:07 am

    Nonsense.

    Chloroform is very volatile and evaporates within seconds.
    Furthermore, the extreme cold experienced due to evaporation is very unpleasant on the skin, and would feel like freezer burn on the nipples.
    Having (accidently) inhaled large volumes of chloroform over the years (9 years as an organic chemist), i can confirm that this method of incapacitating men is not viable.

    For those of you that want to believe it to be true and will argue the toss, think about this: when frogs are knocked out (then killed) for dissection, they are put in a small sealed glass jar with a substantial amount of chloroform, and they are not knocked out instantly. Therefore, if you consider a man, many times the aerobic capacity of a frog in a room (ventilated or otherwise), are they really going to pass out after a quick sniff of some boobs?

  15. Noel on January 11th, 2009 1:01 am

    I agree with Barry. Complete rubbish.

    Chloroform is highly volatile and would last only seconds when heated to 37°C (nipple temperature) in the open air. It is also toxic by skin absorption and a proven carcinogen! So as well as simply not working, the girls would have to be out of their minds to even try it as they would certainly be risking a horrible death.

    This is a case of Hollywood science stimulating someone’s imagination. In real life it just does not work like it does in the movies!

  16. Cailean on January 15th, 2009 1:57 am

    Not to mention that if the men are able to inhale the chloroform, what’s to prevent the women from inhaling it, too? Her nose and mouth are just inches from her supposedly chloroform-lathered breasts.

    As for why a woman would rather use chemicals (of some plausible variety) rather than jerking a many off: they want to rob you, not have sex with you. I’m sure if they could figure out how to have their cake and eat it, too, they would.

  17. Joe on February 3rd, 2009 10:13 pm

    Thanks for the heads up, for the next time i lick a womens breast,

  18. Willy Brown Balls on April 14th, 2009 7:06 pm

    It’s probably a black thing.

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