Nov.19.2008 Bears are taking over the world
America is falling apart right now with a shitty economy, civil unrest, and new episodes of Two and a Half Men. So what could be the final sign of our personal apocalypse? Bears are getting much smarter.
I can’t say I didn’t see this coming. Ever since I read my first Berenstain Bears book I was like, “Oh fuck, they’ve gained autonomy.” Who knows what else they’re planning? I’m guessing raping and pillaging can’t be too far away. And trust me when I say that bears are not gentle lovers. My trip across Europe with Paddington taught me a lot. Including that there was nothing but pain hidden beneath his little blue jacket.
[...] around today, he’d probably fight a bear with his bare hands for our amusement. And with the bears launching their offensive, we need to keep them in check any way we [...]