Aug.04.2008 Mary-Kate Olsen is shady when it comes to Heath Ledger
I don’t know a whole lot about how to kill Heath Ledger (I assume that, based on his portrayal of the Joker, he’s impervious to punching, more punching, explosions, and Christian Bale’s stupid gravely Batman voice), but I know how I’d probably avoid prosecution for his death. I’d probably want immunity before discussing it with the Feds, like Mary-Kate Olsen.
Actress Mary-Kate Olsen has refused to answer questions from federal authorities investigating the accidental overdose that killed actor Heath Ledger until she receives immunity from prosecution, The New York Post reported.
The former child-star, famous for playing Michelle Tanner on “Full House,” was a close friend of Ledger’s and the first person called after her masseuse discovered Ledger’s body in his Soho apartment in January, The Post said.
But federal officials could force the actress to tell them details on the “Dark Knight” star’s drug use and events leading up to his death if they obtain a grand-jury subpoena.
Reports were, of course, that Olsen and Ledger were boning leading up to his death. Which would probably make me overdose on things to numb the pain too…I think having sex with Mary-Kate would be like putting my genitals in a meat grinder while smashing my pelvis into a brick wall.
I’d have thought if anyone from Full House were going to fuck and murder Heath Ledger, it’d be Dave Coulier. Or maybe those twins who played the sons of John Stamos and Lori Loughlin. Where have they been during all of this? Up to no good, I bet. Probably doing mischievous things and going “Doubletrouble doubletrouble doubletrouble doubletrouble,” hanging around with mysterious Latinas in red trenchcoats. We’ll get them, Chief. So help me, we’ll get them.
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