Jul.16.2008 Heidi Montag is a key advocate of the Republican party

Barack Obama basically owns the Internet, college campuses, and anywhere else youths congregate. Conversely, John McCain has Heidi Montag’s cleavage. Here she is with McCain’s daughter, Mooghan…Meghan. Sorry. Meghan.

Listen, I’d leave a map of Hawaii all over Heidi Montag. Seriously, anywhere on her body. Forehead, foot arch, kneecap, collarbone, those little dimples on her lower back that let you know how sexy and slim she is, back of her ear, inner wrist…oh where was I? Right. And that’s why the Jews control the media. Huh? That wasn’t what I was writing about? Fuck. This job is so difficult :(

[More of Heidi and her pet elephant here]

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