May.15.2008 Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon might be developmentally challenged
So I didn’t cover this because it went down while I was out of town, but this whole Mariah Carey/Nick Cannon marriage thing is bizarre. And it gets more bizarre by the moment since, apparently, their honeymoon was at an amusement park.
Newlyweds MARIAH CAREY and NICK CANNON enjoyed a magical night at Six Flags Magic Mountain in L.A. on Tuesday evening — and the star couple invited only ET’s KEVIN FRAZIER and our cameras inside the theme park with them! Tune in to Entertainment Tonight on Wednesday to see all the romantic fun.
Mariah couldn’t believe her eyes when she and Nick arrived in a Rolls-Royce at Six Flags, only to find it transformed into a private party palace just for them — a special surprise arranged for her by Nick!
The normally packed theme park played host to the newlyweds and an exclusive guest list of 100 invitees, and the entire premises was decorated in purple and pink balloons, not to mention signs reading “Nick and Mariah: A Love Story.”
I’d just like to point out how sad and transparent it is that you’re looking for attention when you invite Entertainment Tonight on your bizarre, incredibly (and conveniently) visual honeymoon at an amusement park. Seriously, I hate when celebrities pull the “I just want to live my life” card, then they go “HEY ET YOU WANNA COME WATCH THIS PRIVATE MOMENT WITH ME AND THE GUY I MARRIED AFTER SIX WEEKS? K COOL.”
Also what the fuck kind of retards are they to go to an amusement park? Like, yeah, it’s fun and whatever but if I’m a multimillionaire marrying another multimillionaire in a whirlwind wedding, I’d want to do something cool, not something that acne-ridden 13 year-olds hopped on Mountain Dew take part in. Unless it’s a game of Ookie Cookie. In which case, I can think of no better way to spend my honeymoon. Jerking off onto a cookie in a race against time to stave off humiliation and bleach breath seems like a fine way to prepare my wife for the rest of our lives.
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