Apr.09.2008 Jessica Simpson has a pretty hearty beard
Uh maybe Esquire and I have different perceptions of what’s sexy, but the cover of this month’s issue, which features a topless Jessica Simpson shaving her face, is not something I’d value too much.
It’s supposed to be a throwback to a cover from many moons ago that featured some old whore Virna Lisi (I don’t know who she is and, let’s be honest, what am I going to do “research”?). It just kind of strikes me as odd. Like I guess the idea that she’s topless is wonderful; she has great breasts that deserve to be featured alongside large bolded words that seem to spout gibberish as though they were from A Beautiful Mind. But no matter how sultry a look someone makes, it’s hard for me to be sexually intrigued by them when they’re shaving a beard, no matter whether it’s an imaginary beard or not. Unless they’re Abe Lincoln, I guess. Man, what a sweet ass he had. He can emancipate my loins any day.
For the rest of the images from her feature (which are less beardful), head over to Egotastic.
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