Mar.24.2008 My Gay Roommate: The Final Chapter
So I’ve been out of the apartment with the twink for over a week now. My quality of life has improved. I’m happier. I feel less likely to get attacked by semen. Better times all around.
So what happened in my last night with the apartment?
Well, I finished packing up last Friday night, raring to go. Then, my ladyfriend (nee special lady) ended up spending the night with me. After some quality time, we both had an early wake-up Saturday morning (me for the move, her to meet up with a friend) and opted to go to sleep at around 1:15AM. So who traipses in LOUDLY with another man? That acquired immune disease carrier. And what do you, as a considerate roommate, do when you’re coming home with a strange man to engage in sordid sodomy? You turn up the TV, loudly yell and laugh, and get fucked and spanked violently only for your strange man to leave immediately thereafter.
Neither me nor my girl slept. But at least she heard it. I had a witness to the horror. And that is why we’re as close as we are right now. Or so I assume. It certainly can’t be any redeeming qualities of my own.
I didn’t say a word to him. He’s a psychopath and, frankly, I’d rather not deal with it. But if you’re out there in the world and you’re a gay man (or any man), please feel free to spit in the face of this fine fellow pictured below. His name is “Oalan” though he goes by a series of other anal-sex-infused nicknames such as “Skylore” and “Luca”. He deserves all of your enmity. And while I can’t advocate this per se, let’s say if someone out there were to, oh, offer anal sex to him and then have some sort of chomping teeth in your anus, I wouldn’t be opposed.
These are all pictures taken from his entirely public Facebook, so I’m not violating anything here. What kind of creep do you have to be to post a picture like that last one on a public Facebook? Ugh. If I remember correctly, the caption on it was also “Does this make my bits look small?” Seriously? SERIOUSLY? UGH.This chapter in my life is now over. This category of the blog, a cathartic window into my life, is closed. I have no ill will towards you, homosexuals. Now that I no longer work out amongst you or live with your worst representative, I feel like this is a better situation for all of us. Because it won’t end in me in a pick-up truck asking you to jerk off for me, then beating you mercilessly.
Goodnight, sweet AIDS-ridden, wigged, cancer-filled Prince. May you continue to spread your “joy” to many others.
EDIT: An alternative perspective from said special lady…
Caitlin: god it was awful
Caitlin: it went forever
Caitlin: and then chris kept falling asleep and snoring on top of it
Caitlin: i had a pillow crammed over my head and could still hear it all
Caitlin: i think i started to cry around 3am bc i was just SO tired haha
Just for the record…I was congested. I don’t snore. Ever.
DOUBLE EDIT: I was also asked to run this lookalike photo of my roommate:
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