Mar.12.2008 Great ways to get your face bit the fuck off
There are many places I wouldn’t put my face: A bear trap, a pie filled with poison (WHY WOULD YOU MAKE SUCH A DELICIOUSLY CONFUSING TREAT), a bee hive, a bed of needles, Tara Reid’s crotch. Well, you can add “Staring contest with a polar bear” to that list too.
I get it. Flocke the Polar Bear is adorable. I’ve covered her before. Twice! But seriously, I do not want to put my face right next to hers. That’s counterintuitive to anything I’ve ever learned. Primarily that wild animals, no matter how adorable, will absolutely fuck my shit up if I invade their personal space. It’s totally the opposite of little kids on a playground.
Also it kind of looks like they’re going to make out. If I wanted to mess up my face and smell trout, I’d probably go back on my promise to not put my face in Tara Reid’s crotch.
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