Mar.31.2008 Kim Kardashian is hard-hitting news
Kim Kardashian made big news last night by appearing at WrestleMania (seriously…I don’t know why that would be news but here we are) and now she’s making even more news because she eats fatty food. Huzzah!
Kim Kardashian has been trying to eat better in 2008 – a resolution she made after downing deep fried Oreo cookies on New Year’s Eve – but her adoration for junk food has been hard to curb.
“I figured just eating well would help me lose five pounds or so,” Kardashian, 27, tells PEOPLE, admitting that three months into the New Year, her diet isn’t getting any better. “It’s so hard to eat well because I love so many unhealthy foods. I just can’t stop eating junk. It’s awful!”
Kardashian, who served as the Celebrity Hostess of Wrestlemania XXIV in Orlando on Sunday night, lamented a disastrous trip to the International House of Pancakes earlier in the afternoon. “I decided not to have pancakes, because those aren’t good for me and I didn’t want the carbs. So what did I get? Chicken strips. I knew they were bad for me, but they were worth it.”
That’s crazy. I had no way of telling she ate fatty foods. Like you look at her and it’s like, “Wow what a stick.” Oh, I was assuming you were looking at her through a hole in a piece of paper, like you look at a solar eclipse.
That’s really the main difference between rich people/celebs and you. They eat whatever the fuck they want, but then hire a good personal trainer who redistributes it to make it look like they’re hot. You eat whatever the fuck you want and I end up pelting you with hamburgers. It’s the little differences.
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Mar.31.2008 Cell phone use makes your brain go “Ow”
No, not because of the dumb way you type in your text messages, but rather because some researcher is saying it may give you cancer. Sweet, delicious cancer.
A study by an award-winning cancer expert shows that cell phone use could kill more people than smoking, it is reported.
According to the U.K.’s Independent newspaper, the study, headed by Dr. Vini Khurana, shows that there is a growing body of evidence that using handsets for 10 years or more can double the risk of brain cancer.
Khurana — one of the world’s top neurosurgeons — based his assessment on the fact that three billion people now use the phones worldwide. That is three times higher than people who smoke. Smoking kills some five million globally each year.
He warned that people should avoid using handsets whenever possible and called on the phone industry to make them safer. France and Germany have already warned against the use of mobile phones, especially by children, it is reported.
Well, it’s not like it’s brain surgery! Ohh…aw.
Whatever though, so cell phones are turning my brain into a fine stew. How else can I look important when walking down the street? Or avoid looking at someone I kind of casually know by holding the phone to my ear and saying things people say on the phone like “BUY! SELL! BEARS ARE ON THE MARKET BUT BULLS ARE FOR THE BEDROOM!”
People have been getting sicknesses from forms of communication for years…it’s just kind of an accepted risk. CB Radio gives you scrotal cancer. Two cans with a bit of string? AIDS. It’s scientific fact.
Mar.31.2008 Brad and Angelina aren’t married. Unless they are.
Well nothing gets me as excited as a celebrity wedding. Other than perhaps a bout with prostate cancer. But you may care that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie didn’t tie the knot over the weekend.
Despite reports that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt wedded in a New Orleans church Saturday, a source close to the couple tells PEOPLE there was “no wedding.”
The family spent a weekend in New Orleans two weeks ago – as Pitt broke ground on his Make It Right project to help rebuild the city’s Lower Ninth Ward – but they have recently been in the Austin, Texas, area while Pitt films Tree of Life with Sean Penn.
Jolie, who stars in the action film Wanted, opening in June, is pregnant and due later this year.
I don’t know how a marriage rumor starts. Does some random person just elect to go, “BAH THEY GOT MARRIED” and place a call to Star Magazine and Star Magazine is all like “Okay crazy person who has no sources, we like the cut of your jib. Let’s run it today!” Thank God a credible news outlet like People is there to keep these outlandish reports in check.
And New Orleans? Seriously? Does everything this bitch Angeline Jolie does have to revolve around poor brown people? I wouldn’t be surprised if she adopted the homeless guy I see every day at Union Square. While you and I see him wearing feces-shoes, Angelina Jolie sees opportunity.
Mar.31.2008 The March 31 Hot Link Orgy
The hottest orgy that loves to touch an aging ex college basketball coach
–The ESPN NCAA Tournament studio crew loves to touch Bobby Knight. [Hugging Harold Reynolds]
–Ric Flair has retired. Long live the Nature Boy. [On205th]
–Sasha Baron Cohen’s “Bruno” character is out on the prowl (w/ grainy cell phone video). [Tasty Booze]
–University of Kansas fans are pretty excited to be in the Final Four. [Busted Coverage]
–Audrina from The Hills is a Pussycat Doll. Which would be sexier if you hadn’t already seen her boobs and snizz. [Egotastic]
Mar.28.2008 MIDGET FRIDAY! Midget Presidential cuntery
This is kind of old but, whatever, I only do midgets once a week. That’s just the way it works. Remember La Pequena Amy Winehouse? Well that midget is really making a go of it. Check out his newest drag-based impersonation…La Pequena Hillary Clinton.
On the plus side, I absolutely would fuck him over the real Hillary Clinton. What can I say? He has thinner calves.
I challenge you to not watch that more than once. The song and the dance combine for a hypnotic, drug-like experience.
Mar.28.2008 Lindsay Lohan…still an actress!
Lindsay Lohan’s getting her career back on track. Now she’s booked a role in a new movie about the Manson Family. Exciting!
Lindsay Lohan is following up her crazy year by joining a cult—in a new movie role, that is.
E! News has learned exclusively that Lindsay Lohan has signed on to star as Nancy Pitman, once a loyal member of Charles Manson’s not-so-merry band, in the movie Manson Girls.
The film’s producer, Brad Wyman of Junction Films, confirmed the casting coup.
“Yes, I am doing it with Lindsay,” he tells E! News.
…call me crazy, but I feel like many people have given that quote above.
I think it’s cool though that she’s doing an edgy-ish movie that’ll really stretch her acting chops of having big boobs and making concerned faces. In this movie she’ll probably have to have big boobs, make concerned faces, and yell “Yeahhhhh mannn!” a lot. So that’ll be cool.
The movie title is kind of stupid though. Manson Girls sounds like a quirky film about young women bonding with other young women and coming to grips with things. And I guess the film could be about that. But if there’s some faggy pop song playing while Lindsay Lohan and Brittany Murphy come to terms with some shit while hanging with a cute little 10 year-old girl who lisps and Charles Manson kills someone in the background, I’m going to be wayyyy disappointed.
Mar.28.2008 The March 28 Hot Link Orgy
The hottest orgy with scientific whore data
–Scientific research behind why some women are hot and some are not. Clearly this is the Lord’s work. [On205th]
–An unhealthy lust for American Idol’s David Cook. [Losers with Socks]
–Hotness of the Moment Simona Fusco decided to just let her boobs flop out at the beach. That’s savvy PR. [The Superficial]
–Miley Cyrus is well on her way to being fat whorish trash. Enjoy the McDonald’s while the metabolism works, Miley. [Best Celeb Gossip]
–Hayden Panettiere has a camel toe surprise for you! [Coed Magazine]
