Feb.06.2008 Oh Miami. You and your sex offenders
Sex offenders are pretty inconvenient, primarily because they’re always groping or raping something. It’s even more inconvenient if you go by the area under the bridge in which they congregate.
The men have lived under the Julia Tuttle Causeway for a year. They say limited money and strict local ordinances make it nearly impossible for them to live anywhere else.
But state officials are telling them to leave.
“We’re urging them to find a residence. We want them to be able to reintegrate into society,” said Gretl Plessinger, a spokeswoman for the Florida Corrections Department.
Just beneath where motorists pass, in the angled area where the bridge meets a concrete slope, there are domed tents, a cream-colored sofa beside a large generator-powered television and XBox, and stacks of canned food and drinks.
The air is tinged with sea salt, and the sound of cars passing overhead is relentless. Yet perfect Atlantic waters make it strangely serene.
At the bottom of the slope, there is a makeshift kitchen with a table, grill and jugs of water that residents fill more than a mile away. The community has a canoe for fishing, a weight bench, and a spot favored by a pit bull named Tigger and a German shepherd named Blackie.
On pillars supporting the bridge, and on the slope, residents have spray-painted their thoughts: “We ‘R’ Not Monsters.” “They Treat Animals Better!!!” “Why?”
Hmm, well I’m going to say that the primary reason that animals get treated better is because dogs and tigers don’t randomly come up to my mom and violently fuck her. Just a guess.
I guess it is kind of sad if you’re a dude who was 19 and slept with a 16 year-old, but let’s be honest, these guys are probably the types to do all kinds of illicit diddling. It also kind of bothers me that they have a working Xbox and mine is still showing red rings. Who do I have to rape around here to get the same rights as the sex offenders living under the bridge?!!
[Thanks to my biggest fan Caitlin for the tip.]
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