Jan.25.2008 Will I buy Scarlett Johansson’s album?
US Weekly is clearly one of America’s leading poll providers (as opposed to me, one of America’s leading pole providers…ho ho ho dick jokes). So you better answer when they ask you if you’re going to buy Scarlett Johansson’s upcoming album.
Scarlett Johansson will release her debut album, Anywhere I Lay My Head, May 20.
The album features 10 Tom Waits covers, as well as one original track, according to a statement released by her label Atco Records.
The actress spent five weeks recording last spring, collaborating with the likes of David Sitek, a member of acclaimed indie band TV on the Radio.
“God only knows how many of my talented friends would kill for a chance [to put an album out],” she said in the November 2007 issue of Elle.
The disc isn’t Johansson’s first stab at music: She sang guest vocals with alt-rockers the Jesus and Mary Chain at last year’s Coachella Festival.
Well, rhetorically speaking, I’d probably buy anything Scarlett Johansson asked me to. She could be selling prostate cancer for the price of my 401k and I’d probably go, “Well, gee that’s a pretty good offer,” then stare at her chest and make subtle sucking noises. I’m pretty good withs salespeople.
But after some further introspection, I probably wouldn’t want to buy her album. I tend to not “pay for music” in the traditional sense, insomuchas I don’t “buy” albums with my “cash” and prefer to “download” them in various “illegal” ways. Plus, her album is probably all about girl stuff, like being strong and how to buy shoes and stuff I don’t need to know like her new single “This Is What Ryan Reynolds’ Jizm Tastes Like”. Beautiful women doing things that aren’t visual is kind of a waste. Like owning a dog that can’t lick peanut butter off your crotch.
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