Oct.15.2007 Your robot will be ready to f*ck you soon
So you know how you built that woman out of mashed potatoes but were disappointed that you couldn’t turn her into a fully functional automaton? Well fret not, some analyst says you’ll be able to have sex with robots within five years and marry them within fifty.
“My forecast is that around 2050, the state of Massachusetts will be the first jurisdiction to legalize marriages with robots,” artificial intelligence researcher David Levy at the University of Maastricht in the Netherlands told LiveScience.
At first, sex with robots might be considered geeky, “but once you have a story like ‘I had sex with a robot, and it was great!’ appear someplace like Cosmo magazine, I’d expect many people to jump on the bandwagon,” Levy said.
“One hundred years ago, interracial marriage and same-sex marriages were illegal in the United States. Interracial marriage has been legal now for 50 years, and same-sex marriage is legal in some parts of the states,” Levy said. “There has been this trend in marriage where each partner gets to make their own choice of who they want to be with.”
“If you have pedophiles and you let them use a robotic child, will that reduce the incidence of them abusing real children, or will it increase it?” [Georgia Institute of Technology roboticist Ronald] Arkin asked. “I don’t think anyone has the answers for that yet — that’s where future research needs to be done.”
There’s a lot of dodgy ethical issues with this. For example, if I want to f*ck my robot in the ass but my robot is like “No!” am I allowed to continue on? I mean I bought the robot. I own the robot. So I say if I want to force anal sex upon it, more power to me.
I have to wonder though, how do you become an expert and a PhD in the Netherlands? Does it come with your Happy Meal? Because seriously, I could start making bold predictions like this if it’ll get me into the AP or Fox News. See! “Aliens will be on Earth in 10 years and they will bring a new kind of denim that will slim your thighs down and enhance your crotch bulge.” I’m waiting for your call, Legitimate Media.
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