Sep.28.2007 SITE NEWS: Taking today off
Happy Friday folks.
The Blog of Hilarity is having technical issues today and won’t have any updates. The technical issue? The Blog of Hilarity’s four day old laptop was stolen from Chris’ apartment and, in a show of solidarity (and rage), I’m not posting anything today. Because everything I would post would be racial epithets…even more than usual.
Back Monday, hopefully recharged.
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Sep.27.2007 Yeah this chick is a liar
The word scumbag is thrown around a lot in this crazy work-a-day world of ours. But it really can’t get much scummier than making up a 9/11 survival story and getting busted on it six years later.
A nonprofit organization for 9/11 survivors removed its president after questions were raised about her harrowing account of how she survived but lost a loved one in the World Trade Center attack.
Tania Head has said that she was badly burned on the 78th floor of the south tower, that she was saved by a man who died trying to save others, and that a dying man handed her his inscribed wedding ring, which she later returned to his widow.
The Times said Merrill Lynch & Company, where Head told people she had worked, had no record of her employment. She has claimed she had a romantic relationship with a man who is a confirmed 9/11 victim, but the Times said his family and friends had never heard of Head and they discount details of her story.
There are few things that could be worse than pretending you were a part of one of America’s greatest tragedies, let alone somehow convincing an organization that you were a part of the situation. What did she do, throw on a Freddy Krueger mask and that was enough for them to elect her President of the organization? They probably should have taken a hint when she kept referring to the site of the tragedy as “The Two Towers” and asking where Frodo was.
Sep.27.2007 I’m big on the Internet: Alpha Male drivel?
Lately, this little site has been bandied around a lot in various places. Being the egoist I am, I can’t let dumb or inaccurate comments slide. So occasionally, I’ll respond to things you have to say on here. Because I care.
From: Platformers.net
http://www.blogofhilarity.com/09/2007/its_international_talk_like_a.php
jesus, this blog of hilarity guy is exactly like an alpha male discovered a blog site and learned some vague awareness of the internet.
The images are even all stretched out and shit because he can’t figure out to resize them.
The alpha male thing was thrown around a lot with the Joe Mathlete folks that visited my Marmaduke Monday posts. I don’t get it. This site is definitely guy-focused, no question. But like, I’ve seen these awful Internet memes for ages (odds are, Message Board Guy, that I’m aware of things on the Internet before you are…I just don’t spend hours on message boards commenting on them). Also, sometimes, there’s a small small bit of subtlety to the posts we do here that people don’t get. Might be because I suck. I hope not though. But probably.
Also, the reason images are stretched because every image posted here is 400×400 and, since this isn’t a “professional blog” (insomuch as we don’t have a team of editors here with Photoshop. As we speak, I’m posting this from a handcrank laptop attached to a hamster wheel), we just resize images through Movable Type because, get this: They’re just f*cking images designed to give each post something visual. The more you know.
As for being an Alpha Male, sure I like to have sex with legions of women, drink beer, play sports, mock those weaker than me, and oppress other races and social classes…does that make me an Alpha Male? Duly noted.
Anyway, as always, I welcome your comments and critiques. Feel free to send anything you want me to respond to at tipsATblogofhilarityDOTcom. I don’t care if you hate me. All I care about is that you love our new sponsor, Vonage! The one with the phone on it!
Sep.27.2007 Playboy looking for more Richards and Anderson
The naked arts can be difficult to market. So it’s no surprise that Hugh Hefner is going to the well once again with million dollar offers to Denise Richards and Pamela Anderson to pose for the magazine again.
Pals Pamela Anderson and Denise Richards are considering a $1 million offer to pose nude together in an upcoming issue of Playboy magazine. Both blondes have disrobed for the men’s magazine in the past, and now Playboy boss Hugh Hefner wants the actresses to team up for a spread in the January 2008 issue of the publication.
A source tells the Globe, “Neither Pam nor Denise has committed yet, but they’re seriously considering it.” Anderson has appeared nude in Playboy a record 12 times, while Richards stripped for the December 2004 issue.
The pair became firm friends when they shot mob comedy Blonde & Blonder in Canada last year.
Okay, really, 12 times? What’s the point? It’s not like things are getting any better with Pamela Anderson. And Denise Richards’ shoot was notoriously disappointing. Especially after the perfect bit of nudity she had in Wild Things. Nice.
Anyway, you might as well dig up Marilyn Monroe and Jayne Mansfield and arrange them in a way to make it look like lesbian action for this shoot too. I’d be able to get just as much of an erection off of that. Maybe more.
Sep.27.2007 Fortune thinks Facebook CEO is totally cute
There’s no Internet property hotter than Facebook right now. So you can see how a man like Fortune writer David Kirkpatrick is so totally in love with Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg.
I have gotten to know him a bit in recent months. He is the closest thing to Bill Gates I’ve seen since the original. Not only does he have natural gifts for programming, leadership, and marketing - traits that served Gates well in Microsoft’s first couple decades. He also, like his industry predecessor, seems mostly driven by a conviction that what he is doing will make the world a better place.
The money will come to him, as it did to Gates, not because he seeks it but as a byproduct of finding effective ways to help society move forward using software.
His focus is extraordinary. What’s more, he is a nicer person than is Gates.
It may also be worth quite a few hundred million for any company to get into bed with Mark Zuckerberg.
Mmm I bet that’s a price worth meeting for you, eh Dave? You love rich young men, don’t you Dave? Think he’ll take care of you and poke you all night, do you Dave? How touching.
Is there any company that people in the media love to talk about more than Facebook? I’ve been on that Facebook train for years, but, seriously, rumors of $15 billion buyouts for the imprint seem like a bit much. Maybe it’s just Mark Zuckerberg’s tremendous sex appeal that makes the media fall in love. A simple thrust of the hips and mention of Facebook applications and they’re mere putty in his hands.
[Editor's Note: The picture is of yesterday's Guinness World Record-breaking photoshoot in Australia. That is now the world's largest swimsuit photoshoot. What, am I going to put up a picture of Mark Zuckerberg? F*ck that.
Sep.27.2007 The September 27 Hot Link Orgy
The hottest orgy with two of Timbaland’s best friends.
–Justin Timberlake and Nelly Furtado are both said to be bastardly in restaurants. Furtado I could see. But JT? He seems like such a nice fellow. A nice fellow who gets to bang all the girls I’d like to. [Snarky Gossip]
–24/Sizzler is all about conversational marketing, apparently. But the ad is so vague! [24/Sizzler]
–Isiah Thomas isn’t good at lying. [With Leather]
–These might be the happiest LOLcats in history, taking refuse in Anne Hathaway’s cleavage. [Cityrag]
Sep.26.2007 You can totally still do Hayden Panettiere
People have been saying that Hayden Panettiere is dating Heroes co-star Milo Ventimiglia for weeks now. Well, People (the magazine, not the rhetorical group of gossipers) says it’s totally not true.
First, a costar of Heroes’ Hayden Panettiere and Milo Ventimiglia shot down recent rumblings (as well as a YouTube video that was closely analyzed by fans) that the 18-year-old actress and her 30-year-old costar were getting closer.
“The rumor is not true,” costar James Kyson Lee, who plays Ando, told PEOPLE at Tuesday’s Lift Up America Meet Me in Miami premiere in Hollywood. “Let’s just end it there.”
He added about the romance talk: “I think we were just surprised because they’re 12 years apart – for people to even conceive that. I know there have been a lot of jokes, Hayden turning 18 and whatnot. At some point, you just have to let it go, and respect their privacy.”
How absurd that would be! A younger woman dating an older man in Hollywood after working on the same set together for an extended period of time? Unheard of.
Also, they couldn’t get a real actor on the show to say something? They might as well have quoted the Best Boy. At least afterwards, he’d be able to tell you stories about how he took a crap in Hayden Panettiere’s bag because she was acting kind of stuck up one day.
