Aug.31.2007 MIDGET FRIDAY! Midget breakdancing is tiny; impressive
Is this a sport? I dunno, but these little bastards are pretty athletic.
It’s got to be easier to do those moves when you’re so small. You’re like a top at that size, you can just be spun with no effort at all.
And with that, I’m out of here early today kids. Have a good Labor Day…I might have something Monday, I might not. That’s the excitement that is me. But needless to say, I shan’t be wearing white pants.
EDIT: Also, I have something up on Epic Carnival today if you’re hard-up for entertainment. Watch me try to be an expert on a preview of the Dallas Cowboys, then start saying things like “Dudes gonna kick”. Sports are hard!
Find the Jonas Brothers Tour Dates and Madonna Tour Dates at Vividseats.com! We sell Concert Tickets like Avril Lavigne Concert Tickets and Theater Tickets to the hottest shows, such as The Lion King and Wicked.
Aug.31.2007 Princess Di: Still dead
Yes, a stunning development. Princess Di is not a zombie. Ten years later, she’s still a dead chick that married a prince, then died with some Arab rich dude.
I never really got the appeal. I mean, granted, I was still pretty young when she died, but I remember seeing it, seeing people crying, seeing gay guys singing songs about candles being blown out or something and I was just like, “Okay.” Let’s get over this whole princess fantasy, girls. Princesses are just rich girls. You know who’d be a princess in America? Either the Bush girls or some wealthy tycoon’s daughter, so let’s say Paris Hilton. I don’t mind Paris Hilton as my Princess of America, but I think you wouldn’t like it at all.
Though, much like a girl would sleep with a guy who’s a prince in a heartbeat, I’d probably bone a princess just for the hell of it. Hell, really any girl wearing a tiara. I’m not picky.
Aug.31.2007 I Know Who You Did Last Summer
Or something like that. Well, actually, I don’t know now, but thanks to WHOM’s Sexual Relationship Database, I may be able to if someone cares enough about you to put in people you slept with.
Because I believe in full disclosure, I fully intend to update my own. In fact, a search of my full name (which you would know if you added me via the Facebook link on the right) will show a complete and rich history of my love life. Scarlett Johansson, I’m sorry we had to go public this way.
Unfortunately, some others aren’t taking this as seriously as I am. Matt Bolling has slept with Jessica Alba, Balls, and Himself. So that’s just unfortunate usage of this fine, unregulated tool.
This is why we can’t have nice things. Because then you add a bunch of stuff about me having sex with thousands of men. Thanks guys.
[Derby Tip: Buzzfeed]
Aug.31.2007 Mike Huckabee wants to see what you workin wit
Via Jossip, GOP candidate for President Mike Huckabee was asked for comment about what he thought of a shirtless Vladimir Putin. His answer was surprisingly candid yet oddly creepish.
It may be the rage in Siberia, but pictures of Russian President Vladimir Putin’s fishing topless drew ughs in Washington. A Bush adviser says, “I’d rather have a flawed view of his soul than a clear view of his pecs!” “Man boobs,” sneered another. GOP presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee tells us candidly: “While I am impressed with the fact he can get out and go fishing, the shirtless photo doesn’t do anything for me. Now, if it was a picture of Scarlett Johansson, that would be another story.”
You hear that Scarlett? A bill has just been passed with 2/3rds of the vote in my pants declaring that your Tittays must be EMANCIPATED from the linen-y chains of bra-based oppression. Mike Huckabee declares it to be so.
Also, did anyone else get an image of Mikey boy just jacking away in his Senatorial office, just really getting after it in his suit to images of Scarlett in compromising positions? Then Putin sneaks into his mind and he’s all like, “Yeahhhhh babyyyy now it’s a party.” Mike Huckabee, you are such a creep.
Aug.31.2007 The August 31 Hot Link Orgy
The hottest orgy featuring Britney Spears songs since the National Group Sex Committee forgot to turn off MTV in 1998 before their convention.
–TMZ claims they have two new Britney Spears songs, possibly off her new album. She doesn’t have da ill hotness of K-Fed’s album, I bet. [TMZ]
–You know how I said UFC would cash in on Renato “Babalu” Sobral’s villainy? Yeah, it looks like they won’t. They released him from his contract today. [UFCMania]
–I would have thought a fatty concept like “Rally Fries” would come from somewhere like Milwaukee. For shame Seattle. [Home Run Derby]
–Anna Faris got the name changed of That Movie We Heard of Because She’s Wearing a Bikini in the Promo Pictures. [FilmDrunk]
–David Beckham may very well be made of graham crackers. [Radar]
Aug.30.2007 My alma mater loves butt sex
In an article in today’s University of Southern California Daily Trojan, found via Queerty, Senator Larry Craig going around hunting for fine hunks of manness isn’t something limited to just Idaho or wherever the hell he f*cked dudes. It’s shocking also in Los Angeles!
Cruising, the practice of men meeting and having anonymous sex in bathrooms or other public places, continues at USC in bathrooms in Bovard Auditorium and Taper Hall of Humanities, according to a facilities management employee, evidence in the restrooms and websites dedicated to cruising.
The two cruisers featured in the Sept. 12, 2006 article, one a USC graduate student and the other a university employee, both said they were married men and felt that the activity was not about the sex, but rather “an adventure.”
Many cruisers are “straight-acting” men who feel they can’t be openly gay, Julie Albright, a lecturer in USC’s Department of Sociology and an expert on relationships and sexuality on the Internet, said last year. They might be in a “very masculine environment” such as an athletic team or fraternity, or live with others - a spouse or roommate, for example - who wouldn’t accept homosexual activity, she said.
“If they’re not out, they can’t go to a gay bar,” Vincent Vigil, a graduate student and director of the Lesbian Gay Bisexual and Transgender Resource Center said last year, adding that anonymous sex is prevalent in the heterosexual community as well.
Now, I’m not exactly some a-hole, but when is this happened in with straight people? Gym locker rooms have dudes just f*cking all the time (in some gyms, openly) and I don’t see similar things happening with me and some gal in spite of my immense sexual attractiveness. And it definitely didn’t happen in the building I went to East Asian Societies and Cultures in.
In their defense though, I don’t blame them for their immense, unstoppable sexual urges. Look at shirtless Tommy Trojan, the statue we have in the center of campus, up there. He’s so virile, so muscular. I’m finding myself hardpressed to not go have a little fun with a guy through a rest stop glory hole as we speak.
Or not. Nevermind. I totally didn’t say that.
Aug.30.2007 I’m sick of men getting objectified
Goddammit, as a Men’s Activist, there’s only so much I can take. Dolce & Gabbana’s new campaign totally objectifies men and SICKENS ME.
After being criticized in their past ad campaigns for showing blood and knives and depicting a barely dressed woman pinned to the floor by a group of men, now it’s time for their fall campaign to be in the eye of the cyclone. Shot by Steven Klein, the pictures feature a crop of female models in skintight dominatrix clothes, metallic belts and whips, surrounded by naked models in statuesque poses.
The critique this time, according to a spokeswoman, is that men are portrayed as objects. The set is similar to the futuristic-cum-seductive backdrop.
“Since these images have offended someone, we want to stress that we wanted to represent a strong and dominatrix woman, as is today’s woman. It’s the vision of a dream more than reality, where the whip symbolizes women’s power and where the naked models refer to a classic beauty inspired by Michelangelo,” said Gabbana. “We wanted to place this artistic reference above everyday reality, but there was no intent to be vulgar or offend anyone’s human dignity.”
Of course the woman has to be empowered. Typical. Women get all of the perks in this country; higher salaries, don’t have to take care of the kids, watching sports while I make dinner. It sickens me that Dolce & Gabbana would continue to perpetuate the awful reality of modern society.
Also it looks like those men have been sold into slavery. It’s not unlike a dream of mine, in which I’m stripped nude and sold as a slave to thin, pretty women in leather. They abuse me regularly and make me do awful things, such as pleasure them. Then they beat me with riding crops. I’m not great with dream analysis, but I think that’s my subconscious telling me that I should be more afraid of riding crops than I currently am. My subconscious is very helpful sometimes.
