Jul.03.2007 LIBEL TUESDAY! McGruff’s kind of worthless now.
While McGruff once had all the usefulness of a daschund in a trenchcoat, he now has the uselessness of an actual daschund in a trenchcoat. He used to figure drugs, crime, and, I dunno, maybe murder. Now, he’s saying that you need to DELETE CYBERBULLYING!
Online bullying, called cyberbullying, happens when teens use the Internet, cell phones, or other devices to send or post text or images intended to hurt or embarrass another person. Cyberbullying is a problem affecting almost half of all American teens. Whether you’ve been a victim of cyberbullying, know someone who has been cyberbullied, or have even cyberbullied yourself, there are steps you and your friends can take to stop cyberbullying and stay cyber-safe.
Uh oh. I’ve done this many times. Some of which on this website. I don’t want McGruff on my ass! What can I do McGruff???
# Refuse to pass along cyberbullying messages
# Tell friends to stop cyberbullying
# Block communication with cyberbullies
But I have to communicate with myself…what else! I need help you flea-bitten bastard, I need more information!
# Raising awareness of the cyberbullying problem in your community by holding an assembly and creating fliers to give to younger kids or parents
Niiiiice. So if I pretend, er…genuinely want to stop cyberbullying, I can just get into high schools? Somebody tell Pete Townshend!
I’m still not clear though on what cyberbullying is though other than my own transgressions into the realm of Cyberbullery. If only there were some sort of flash-based advertisement-ish thing to see.
Oh I see. Maybe I should launch a preliminary apology to Kelly Clarkson? No, I think McGruff would understand that she’d eat him and wouldn’t think twice, even as the fur got caught in her Jabba the Hut-like gullet.
Remember that the Internet is accessed by millions of people all over the world, not just your friends and family. While many Internet users are friendly, some may want to hurt you. Below are some ways to stay cyber-safe:
* Never post or share your personal information online (this includes your full name, address, telephone number, school name, parents’ names, credit card number, or social security number) or your friends’ personal information.
* Never share your Internet passwords with anyone, except your parents.
* Never meet anyone face-to-face whom you only know online.
* Talk to your parents about what you do online.
Yeah, I’ve taken that last piece of advice before McGruff. And you know what it got me? A lecture about how masturbating on a webcam for strange men “wasn’t a good idea”. Yeah okay McGruff, I really want to relive that. Plus, this Nigerian guy was all about giving me millions of dollars and all he needed was my Social, Bank number, and one testicle. So I’m doing it regardless of what you say.
Kids can take care of themselves McGruff. They don’t need you harshing their cyberbuzz with your “bullying” and your “no masturbating on webcam for strangers”. Plus, with all these various campaigns against bullying, McGruff’s kind of sounding like a dork. “Wah don’t pick on me woof” and “It’s not my fault I can’t play football I have asthma bow wow BARK.” Don’t police me, Lassie.
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