May.10.2007 A message from Farfur the “Martyr Mouse”

Here on the Blog of Hilarity, we aim to present different takes on pressing world issues. Recently, Hamas decided to end the run of its “Tomorrow’s Pioneers” show on Al-Aqsa TV at the urgings of Palestinian information czar Mustafa Barghouti. While many have been quick to judge the show and its controversial host, Farfur, AKA Martyr Mouse, we will attempt to bring his story to light in an exclusive interview.

Blog of Hilarity: Farfur, thank you for taking this opportunity to speak with us.
Farfur: No thank you, it is great opportunity for Farfur to present his side not that of the infidels who have try to slander my good name
BoH: I guess the first question on people’s minds would be why bring this message to innocent children?
Farfur: I do not understand. If Farfur do not teach children about gunplay and sending the infidels to the great Allah to beg for his mercy, then who would? Palestine schools leave much to be desired.
BoH: Well, I think it’s not so much that it’s you saying that message, but rather that anyone is.
Farfur: But this is just fun kids show! Educational too! I just try to make kids laugh and also teach them how to safely fasten a dynamite vest to their chest when they are going to become martyrs. Safety is always top priority!
BoH: But they’re blowing themselves up?
Farfur: Yes and you hate to hurt your back before going to Martyrdom. Allah’s Paradise is the Happiest Place on Earth!
BoH: While you’re dropping Disney trademarks, how do you feel about the moniker “Martyr Mouse”?
Farfur: I think it is disgraceful. I am a completely original product and should not be compared to your filthy Western ripoff.
BoH: You’re saying Mickey Mouse is imitating you?
Farfur: Yes, it is pretty obvious what they are trying to do, capitalizing on my likeness to preach the intolerant ideologies of not killing Jews. It is insult to all I have worked to do in building my brand. My publicist would be so pissed right now. Plus Farfur has yet to find the glory of martyrdom. Perhaps one day. Then Farfur will have many virgins to please him! Farfur would like them to be dressed like your American Goofy.
BoH: Why does your dialect go from stereotypical foreigner to Los Angeles celebrity, seemingly without reason?
Farfur: Writers’ Guild strike.
BoH: Ah, yeah that could lead to amateurs writing fictional dialogue. What do you think about your Palestinian information czar saying that this situation is just a ploy by Israel and the Western media to distract from Israel’s aggressions against women and children?

Farfur: This is the problem with liberal Palestine. Everyone these days would rather hug and make up rather than finally put an end to problems. As our czar says, you cannot squash a bug with a hug, you must squash him with a mallet.
BoH: You could probably squash a bug with either of those methods.
Farfur: THE CZAR IS ALWAYS CORRECT, ALL HAIL INFORMATION CZAR SAMBUCA.
BoH: Barghouti.
Farfur: Allah blesses you.
BoH: No, that’s the information czar’s name. Barghouti.
Farfur: FARFUR WILL NOT STAND HERE AND BE INSULTED LIKE A COMMON WESTERN MOUSE. INTERVIEW OVER.