Apr.25.2007 “Is that a burrito in your pocket or do you want to forcibly fondle me?”
In a perfect storm of absurdity and sexual assault, Captain America groped a woman’s “private area” last night at a drunken party.
A doctor in a Captain America costume went from superhero to super villain when he stuffed a burrito in his tights and groped a woman in a bar, cops said.
The red-white-and-blue-clad “captain” allegedly staggered up to a woman, pointed out the Mexican delicacy in his spandex pants and grabbed her in a private place.
Well, I definitely see the comedy in that. But sexual assault isn’t funny to many people. Neither is getting a Mexican delicacy in your pants (a fate I know all too well from when I served a stint in a Tijuana prison). So yes, I see both sides. I even see the deeper socioeconomic message the good Doc was trying to make. He was subtly protesting immigration laws, showing that Mexican products are invading even the most intimate, inherently American areas. But even the staunchest critic of offensive comedy could see the humor in this…
Police had trouble finding the real perp because so many of the other doctors at the party were also dressed as Captain America.
The officers had to take everyone dressed as the patriotic hero - at least five revelers - out of the bar and place them in an impromptu line-up.
What better way to salute a recently fallen hero than to dress up as him, shove a burrito in your pants, and start groping away at innocent female partygoers. That’s just one of the freedoms Captain America fought so hard to defend. God Bless America!
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