Apr.11.2007 It’s an interesting day to be a consumer of liquids
When one odd drink is demystified, another is revealed to have magical curative powers. Such is the divergent paths of Cocaine Energy Drink, currently being sued by the FDA for its lack/illegal advertisement of positive health benefits, and Breast Milk, which has a protein in it that may be a miracle weight loss cure for visceral fat.
Cocaine is an energy drink produced by a Las Vegas company. It contains no actual cocaine, but is being marketed as “The Legal Alternative” to the illegal drug, according to its Web site. Its logo appears to be spelled out in a white powder that resembles the drug.
The Food and Drug Administration said Redux Beverages LLC is illegally marketing the drink as both a street drug alternative and a dietary supplement, according to a warning letter dated April 4 but publicly released Wednesday. The FDA cites as evidence the drink’s own labeling and Web site, which include the statements “Speed in a Can,” “Liquid Cocaine” and “Cocaine - Instant Rush,” according to the letter.
I fail to see how it’s possible for a drink that markets itself as giving you the same effects as a street drug could ever end up under the scrutiny of the federal government. If there’s one thing you know you can trust, it’s beverages that market themselves as the same as drugs, but drinkable and with hot girls in booty shorts. On the plus side, their edgy marketing campaign resembled how they did business: with no law and no caring for how The Man perceived them.
On the breast milk front…
According to an article in the Japanese publication Asashi Geino, translated by the Mainichi Daily News, a recent study found lactoferrin, a protein found in body fluids may cut visceral fat by as much as 40 percent.
Visceral fat is the fat deep within the abdomen and has been linked to increased risk of heart disease and Type 2 diabetes.
The scientists at Lion Corp. told Asashi Geino that they accidentally stumbled across the slim-down potential while studying lactoferrin’s ability to fight gum disease, the Mainichi Daily News reported.
If this protein is so miraculous, then why aren’t babies strutting around with overly defined six packs and speedoes? Pencil me in for cautiously optimistic. I’m not about to go suckling teats or anything for it right now, but if in the near future a supplement with this magical protein is available, I will give it a shot. My skepticism is balanced out by the fact that I’m sure that someone out there is finding this to be incredibly good news. Somewhere, an adult baby fetishist just leaped into the air and yelled, “Jackpot!”
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