Mar.29.2007 Winnie the Pooh is going to be soooo pissed
Honeybees are dying everywhere and people who care about that sort of thing don’t know why for sure.
Beekeepers throughout the United States have been losing between 50 and 90 percent of their honeybees over the past six months, perplexing scientists, driving honey prices higher and threatening fruit and vegetable production.
At a House Agricultural Subcommittee hearing in Washington, D.C. today, members of various organizations came together to share their concerns about what they have been calling the “Colony Collapse Disorder,” or CCD.
Or, as it’s also known, “What the f*ck is up with the bees? Ah well, if we call it a disorder, it’ll like we know”…itis. Some guy who probably talks far too much about bees in settings where it’s not socially acceptable (”Hey beautiful, your body is as banging as the thorax of an ovulating Queen Bee with a dash of pheromone splashing upon my face”) said it might be due to stress on them that is suppressing the bees’ immune system. Or perhaps too much gay bee sex.
Perhaps the reason so many bees are dying is because they’re forced to pose with black Racecar drivers. The rarity of that is more than enough to make any simple spokesbee’s head explode.
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