Mar.22.2007 How to lose a set of keys in one day
The biggest news item of the day has nothing to do with Wars in Iraq, Presidential elections, College Basketball, or a dead celeb.
I lost my fucking keys. Like, first thing in the morning (my laptop bag was open and everything fell so, logically, that’s when it happened). Any attempts at providing humorous spins on the “news,” particularly after a long day that ended with me waiting outside for a roommate to come home due to lack of keys, would be superficial and disrespectful to my keys. Rest in peace, keys. Taz keychain, I had you since I was 8. You’re terrific. Despite your peeled belly and broken feet, you stayed on the ring for most of my life. Key Food card, you were a newer addition to the fold but gave me a great gift: savings. And reward points I could never use.
Let me also not forget the keychains that came and left the keys to fend for themselves. Kenny from South Park, who broke off his poorly attached chain. The NY license plate with my name on it was robbed and brutally raped (or it broke off, I can’t quite remember).
Oh keys, I never realized how much I loved you until you were gone and then noticed many hours later. Dammit.
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