Feb.06.2007 Japan does not want to cuddle with you
It’s the dawning of a new Japan folks. Ever since the bomb was dropped, they’ve been reluctant to say what they really feel. And they’re sorry. They’ve neglected you a bit over the past 65 years. So to make up for it, here comes the second annual Beloved Wives Day!
Now with retirement looming, the 56-year-old [Mitsutoshi Fukatsu] wants to get to know his wife better. He calls her by her name, Setsuko, instead of just grunting. And he says he recently learned a new phrase: “I love you.”
It’s always great when your husband finally does something that hacky Midwesterners have taught their dogs to say just to get them on David Letterman’s Stupid Pet Tricks. And it’s phenomenal that he just grunted at her for 30 years, like he was a caveman named Og, not to be confused with the Geico caveman who is refined and caring.
Last year, the Japan Adoring Husbands Association set itself up and designated Jan. 31 as a day for men to return home at the unusually early hour of 8 p.m., look into their wives’ eyes, and say, “Thank you.”
On Wednesday, the village where the association is based held a renewal-of-vows ceremony for a local couple in their 50s and handed out prizes to three top “doting husbands.”
While this seems all well and good in theory for the one January 31st date, the rest of the year he comes home and slaps her and asks for his sushi. Then he goes to the Japanese strip club with the rest of the Japan Adoring Husbands Association and brokers a deal to get one of the women into a Love Hotel for money. So maybe that club isn’t for the best.
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