Jan.22.2007 African scammers dislike homosexuals
Like most of us, I just want to be loved. Regardless of who it is, we all crave some sort of attention. So when someone named “Young Sliva” from “Sierra Leone” (certainly a made-up place filled with rainbows and unicorns) offers me a financial proposition, it’s in my nature to seek his acceptance. This isn’t about breaking new ground on the Internets, other sites have done this far better and for far longer times than I will. This is about wanting to be wanted. This is real emotion. This is a story that is dying to be made into a movie starring Cameron Diaz called, “The Inbox Game” or something like that in which a love affair blooms with a mysterious Nigerian scammer who recants his previous misdeeds and love prevails while a Gin Blossoms song plays.
In confidence / Young
Hello Dear,
I am Mr Young Sliva from sierra leone but residing in Ivory Coast in west Africa. It is my desire to contact you on honesty and sincerity to assist me in transferring the sum of $18,000,000(Eighteen Million United States Dollars) inherited from my late father Mr. Sliva Duku to your country for investment. I am motivated in contacting you and hope to gradually build trust, relationship and confidence in you as I get to know you better.
So please I want to know if you will be of assistance to me, but first I want to get to know you better. I am willing to offer you $3,600,000(Three Million Six Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) for your effort input after the successful transfer of this money for investment. Indicate your interest towards assisting me by sending your phone # and address to me so that I can communicate with you at any time.
I will be waiting for your response
ThanksYoung Sliva.
Now, I’m no master of reading human emotions. In fact, often times, I can be quite dense. However, I’m pretty sure he’s coming onto me. Opening a letter with “Hello Dear,” while asking for my number seems pretty obvious. But I don’t want to look too needy, you know? So I play it cool for a bit.
Hello Mr. Sliva,
What would I have to do to take part in aiding you? I am very interested in offering you assistance and would appreciate the money you could give me in return. Please let me kno what you think.
Thanx,
Chris
Yeah so what I pretend to be dumb so that boys will like me. Don’t judge me. Boys don’t like it when you’re too smart. It’s not cute. So like, I flip my hair and say like a lot and say things like “kno” and “thanx.” I demand results. Anyway, he would respond. He wants me and knows I want him.
Dear Chris,
Thank you very much for your mail, I will want you to bear in mind that this money is the only thing I inherited from my late father,I am enthrusting it into your care even without seeing you face to face believing that you are not going to disappoint me.
My name is Mr Young Sliva son to Late Mr.Sliva Duku from the Federal Repulic of Sierra-Leone.I am 22 years of age.I am presently in Abidjan-Cote D’Ivoire here in West Africa.I have contacted you in this transaction with a sincere mind and in goodfaith believing that you are not going to disappoint me on the arrival of this money into your bank account.
I have contacted you to help me invest this money in your country.For your assistance in this transaction,I will give you 20% of the total amount and apart from this you are going to be incharge of any investment we shall go into.
Before I give you the necessary information concerning the transfer of this money to you, I will want you to tell me more about yourself..
I am waiting to hear from you.Thanks once again and may God bless you.Please try and call me immediately you recieved this mail to enable us discuss.
Yours Sincerely,
Young Sliva
Tel:+22508846869
Now hold on. We’re only two e-mails into our relationship and he’s already talking about his dad? Red flag! We’re the same age though, which is cool. I usually go for older dudes but whatever, love is love and who am I to question. It’s a bit forward to ask me to call you this early in our courtship, so I’m going to have to decline. Maybe in time, but for now, I’m just not sure it’s the right thing to do.
But I am interested in your prospects and monies. And since this may be something meaningful, I always believe that honesty is the way to start a relationship. So I come clean.
Dear Young,
Thanks for the reply. I am sure you have many people interested in your amazing offer and am grateful that you are giving me this opportunity to help you. It is good to hear that you are in Cote D-Ivoire…I have a friend who spent a summer there a couple years ago and said that it is truly the crown jewel of Africa! Certainly better than Nigeria, right?
As for me, I am a Libra and am also 22 years old. We 22 year-olds must stick together! I live in New York and am a proud homosexual male. Please do not allow that to disturb you as I can assure you that my love of male genitalia is not a sign of my trustworthiness. In fact, discretion is often a part of my life! Ha! Ha!
Please let me know what else I can tell you and when I can also expect the money to be delivered, preferably in brown sacks with dollar signs on them. Ha! Ha!
Thank you,
Chris
I think by adding the “Ha! Ha!” it shows that I am light-hearted, breezy, but still affable and a lover of life and all that it brings. I also emphasize how great I am with discretion and also that I love balls. Big low-hanging balls. Totally not for the sake of comedy.
I haven’t heard back from Young, though I hope he will come back to me. And if he doesn’t, clearly our love was not meant to be. I must be appreciated for whom I am (or pretend to be for comedic purposes…whatever…stupid African).
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