Nov.20.2007 Sex with Kim Kardashian
You know, I’ve got no news to tie this image into and I’m really not the type of blog to post a picture and go TA DA, but I see no reason why not. It’s the week before Thanksgiving, we already covered Britney, so hey.
I think sleeping with Kim Kardashian would not be unlike f*cking a couch. Which is not to say that I’ve f*cked a couch because I’ve yet to indulge myself, in spite of the sexual tension between me and my couch. It’s palpable.
But with all her assets and the fact that Ray J’s probably stretched her out to the point that I could set up camp in her snizz, complete with a tent and roaring fire in addition to a tether ball and a creepy camp counselor, I’m just not sure sex with Kim Kardashian would be the most positive experience for me. I’d end up lost in there, like when a sky diver lands and is wrapped up in his parachute. And that scares me.
Ok, you’re kidding me right? Life would officially be as good as it could get if you could have sex with Kim. She is a mortal goddess among us. If I had sex with her, I’d kill myself right after it, because life would have reached its highest point.
In spite of your delightful first name, I have to disagree. First, did you SEE what Ray J did to her? You don’t shoot someone with a Derringer after they just got blasted with an Uzi. And second, come on…could you handle all that, really? Like honestly. I’m keeping it real here, Alternate Chris. REAL
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