Oct.23.2007 My encounter with a horny old man
It’s story time here on Blog of Hilarity. This incident just happened minutes ago and I feel compelled to relay it to you, dear reader. The conversation is with former BOH/Room Tone editor Tommy. It’s a story of a gay man coming to my apartment. Read on for the rest.
me: so i have a story to tell ok
so my roommate was just here and a friend of his came and they were going out
so i was like whatever
just in my room, f*cking around on freshdirect
all of a sudden the intercom buzzes
so i ignore it
buzzes again
and i’m like, hmm maybe my roommate forgot his keys
so i go answer it
it sorta sounds like him, i dunno
so i buzz up
6:54 PM then the doorbell rings
so i’m like ok, must be my roommate
i open the door
and it’s this really old dude
and he’s like, “so, are you him”
and I’m like “uhhh”
“i’m here to do some things”
Tommy: how old are we talking?
me: like
late 50s
Tommy: yikes
me: so i’m like
6:55 PM “you must be here for my roommate. he’s not here”
and he’s like
“we’re supposed to do some things”
Tommy: uuup
me: and i go, “ok but he’s not here..sorry. i’ll let him know”
so i close the door
and he knocks again
and i open it
and he goes
“do you want to do some things”
Tommy: uuup
me: and i disgustedly go, “no thanks”
6:56 PM and close and lock
and he leaves peacible
Tommy: wow
that’s a hell of a story, alright
6:57 PM that’s insane
also awkward
6:58 PM me: yeah
seriously
so i guess he’s meeting dudes off of craigslist
i just sent him a text like
6:59 PM “some old dude came for you. kinda shady”
Tommy: i think that’s fair
me: but yeah
7:00 PM so i could have had hot old man gay sex
7:01 PM Tommy: well, that would have been the least effort ever
however, it’s certainly a net loss
me: yes indeed
“we were supposed to do some things” might be my favorite new line
7:02 PM Tommy: how was he dressed?
me: like an old dude
7:03 PM Tommy: craigslist is a hell of a place
early on a tuesday night, no less
7:04 PM me: bizarre
also
my roommate
what a c*cktease
Tommy: i was gonna say
he left!
7:05 PM that’s kinda f*cked up
me: lol
you side with the old dude
7:06 PM Tommy: your roommate f*cked w/ the sketchy old man social contract
You probably should have taken him up on it. Live a little.
Also, arguably the funniest thing ever on this site. Personal tragedy suits you well.
your roommate is a total cocktease. poor old guy
wxnmmjgz
wxnmmjgz
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