Sep.12.2007 Maybe you should quit mugging
There are times in everyone’s lives where they face their inefficiencies as a man, a worker, et cetera. But few can be as compelling a reason to just give up as losing a battle to that 74 year-old you’re mugging.
A tire iron-wielding man who police said was looking to mug a senior citizen probably thought he had found an easy target — that is, until the 74-year-old fought back.
Bruce Ferraro had no idea someone was following him as he walked out of a department store at the South Shore Mall on Saturday and got into his car, police said. But then a man pounded on Ferraro’s window and demanded cash.
The mugger demanded Ferraro hand over his wallet, calling the Bay Shore resident an “old man” and threatening to hit him with the tire iron, Groneman said.
Instead, Ferraro grabbed the bar and the two fought, until the septaugenarian managed to snatch away the tire iron, police said.
Wow. How embarrassing. Like either you need to pick better targets or you need to just give up entirely. This whole “mugging” thing might not be your cup of tea. Maybe you should try panhandling. Because if an old man can wrest a tire-iron from you and make you go scrambling into the night, you and that tire iron probably weren’t meant to be.
I bet he went back to all his buddies and was like, “Yeah, I was trying to mug this guy and like seven guys attacked me and stole my tire iron!” Then his friends see the story about someone losing their tire iron to a 70 year-old man, and then they mock him mercilessly. Then the mugger goes off and cuts himself just to feel something. Muggers have feelings too, no matter how incompetent.
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