Top

Aug.13.2008 John Mayer dumped Jennifer Aniston


Jennifer Aniston got dumped by boyfriend John Mayer, perhaps because she’s only getting in and out of cars according to the photography accompanying all my Aniston blog posts.

The pair initially decided to spend some time apart… before making the break official earlier this week.

“There’s been a bit of tension for some time,” says a source close to 30-year-old John. “They initially opted for a break, hoping a trial split might make them stronger. Sadly it doesn’t seem to have worked.

“John took the decision to end things as he felt he just wasn’t ready for the level of commitment that Jennifer deserved.

“Contrary to reports, Jen didn’t want to have kids or marry this year, but she did want to set a timetable for their future together.

“She also wanted him to assure her he would cut down his tours in the future when they did eventually have children.”

Looks like John chose the years of banging sorority girls. And who could blame him? Settling for Jennifer Aniston would be like eating one overcooked, but pricey, steak for the rest of your life when you can have a bunch of delicious skirt steaks, all juicy and fresh, talking about how awesome your oily hair looks and how they love it when you play the guitar behind your head instead of forcing you to watch all of the Friends DVDs and getting mad if you don’t laugh at the time Ross, I dunno, shat on the floor because he loved Rachel so much. Yeah, tough choice.

[More car-related images here]

Related Greatness

An ad would usually go here, but eh, fuck it.

Comments

3 Responses to “John Mayer dumped Jennifer Aniston”

  1. Rolling a blog joint - August 13 | Cuzoogle on August 13th, 2008 3:39 pm

    [...] going on. Don Chavez - The worst day care center ever. NextRound.net - Tropic Thunder byproducts. Blog of Hilarity - Jennifer Aniston got dumped. The Angry T - Winning the sports lottery. Brahsome - Bigfoot body [...]

  2. F. C. King Links « Loser with Socks on August 14th, 2008 9:46 am

    [...] going on. Don Chavez - The worst day care center ever. NextRound.net - Tropic Thunder byproducts. Blog of Hilarity - Jennifer Aniston got dumped. The Angry T - Winning the sports lottery. Brahsome - Bigfoot body [...]

  3. guesthouse pattaya on August 27th, 2008 2:09 am

    excellent website

Feel free to leave a comment...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!





*
To prove you're a person (not a spam script), type the security word shown in the picture. Click on the picture to hear an audio file of the word.
Click to hear an audio file of the anti-spam word

Bottom