Aug.03.2007 My Week Off the Grid
Since Room Tone and the Blog of Hilarity have now been squished into one hub, like a wacky comedy with mismatched roommates, you’re now getting the fine work being done there right on this very page. Today’s Guest writer is former BoH writer and Room Tone Editor, Tomas. Let’s see what he has to say.
I’m sitting on a couch at a mall near my parents’ place in Florida. Natural light is pouring into the atrium, where I am joined by a few old guys waiting for their wives at Dillard’s. The air conditioning is on blast, so I’m staying cool while enjoying the highlight of my day: my hour of internet access.
About ten days ago, I started my morning like every other. I rolled out of bed, emptied my bladder, sipped some orange juice, and turned on my computer. When I went to check out my morning headlines, my browser greeted with the famous white box on the gray page: “ADDRESS NOT FOUND.” My internet was out, and no amount of turning modems and routers and computers off and on brought it back. The cable company came the next day and replaced the wires behind my parents’ home. The TV looked clearer, but so did “Page Load Error” on my screen. We waited a week for the cable company to address the source issue before canceling the service and signing up for DSL from the phone company. A few days later, I’m writing this offline and hoping to post it via magic.
I’ve been coming to the mall every day since. I grab a wireless signal and try to take in the internet for an hour a day. In the atrium where I sit, the sound system loops a piano covering pop hits. It’s a pretty classy touch for a mall. The first time I came to use my computer, I thought the piano was coming live from the baguettes-and-wraps joint behind me. I was corrected when I heard “Circle of Life” twice in a half-hour. Between that and covers of “I’m Still Standing” and “Benny and the Jets,” I figured out that the Earl of Sandwich (or its manager) is an Elton John fan.
As you might expect, it’s pretty crappy to not have the internet when you’ve become used to it. The pain isn’t in going to the mall. It’s in sitting at home with nothing to entertain me but “books,” “television,” and my “imagination.” Books are great, but they’re not so good for following tangents to wacky videos or trawling sites for gossip. I’ll give some credit to TV. I’ve taken in more random shows in the last week than I have in the past couple of months, and I am pleasantly surprised by how watchable a decent amount of it is. Here’s to you, Shark Week.
If you’ve seen my imagination, feel free to let me know. I think it’s hanging out with Scott Baio on VH1.
While I miss the internet when I don’t have it (a pretty cushy problem, as these things go), I’m pretty much over it once I’m back on for about ten minutes. Getting along without internet access has made me realize how much of what I read on it is crap (or at least not essential). For the most part, I haven’t missed any particular site or blog. What I’ve missed is *being* online: bouncing from site to site, swapping IMs, resisting Facebook. When I’m sprawled on the couch watching TV, I can’t avoid the reality that I’m wasting my time and ability. But if I’m on the internet, typing things, juggling multiple tabs and windows and absorbing trivia, then I’m multitasking and I can feel like I’m learning something. Being online lets me feel busy without any effort. I miss the habit and the routine as much as — or more than — the content.
Still, I’m looking forward to not having to go to the mall to go online, eventually. If one of the internet’s great assets is its convenience, then commuting dilutes some of its appeal. Getting online access back will make me a happier person in the immediate term. I might even enjoy the internet now that I’ve realized how blindly I use it. Since I now know how lazy I am, I’ll make it a point to enjoy it.
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