Aug.28.2007 My Genius Coaching Will Win My Fantasy Football League
Today’s special guest is Room Tone’s former resident Sports expert QW. Let’s see what he has to say.
Allow Me to begin my thoughts Today by giving some credit to Vick Mackey for manning up and admitting that what he did was stupid and very messed up. I also don’t want to hear anything about how it was just because of who he had fighting. The truth is this: Pokemon are built for combat, and had he used his land to raise Squirtles he would have a Nobel Prize. But he didn’t and here we are, scratching Ourselves and waiting for someone to give me the opportunity to make some profit off of that whole enterprise. The hell with that guy. People tell me his show is good, though.
But I’m not Here to talk about that today. Let’s talk about Fantasy Football. That leads me to my next point today. I had a Fantasy Football Draft Last Night and the computer spat in my face and gave me that schmuck O.T. in the third round when Dave From The Internet used his computer to jack up my connection. I hate that guy. You might think I sound nuts, but the guy did it in the third and fifth rounds. I don’t like that his computer took over mine like that because it was a major dick move. This is why I continue to advocate for a Live Draft so that I can use my patented Means of Intimidation to get the players that Colonel Mustard’s Mana Deserves.
Although that dick messed with my draft, I’m still happy with my Team. I try to generate a solid mix of personalities that I feel will create good Team Chemistry. That’s why O.T. being on this squad is so upsetting. All he does is aggravate the people around him. That means he’s so going to piss off my other guys. I honestly don’t know what I’m supposed to tell my players. I promised them a team-first environment, and here we are. The second I drafted him my first two picks yellow happy faces became gray straight faces. From :-D to :-| in an instant. I hate that guy. He sucks. Somebody used my cup. After that, every guy I drafted defaulted to :-| or worse. I had to pass on McNabb because he said he would demand a trade. I think he’s gonna have a nice year, but F that guy because he sucks and he won’t get along with my team.
So I think I’ll get a lot of touchdowns. I’m thinking of running Stephen Jackson and MJD in a dual back set until basketball season starts. My Boy Kitna’s gonna chuck it, and hopefully O.T. will grab his balls and not anyone else’s. The pieces are there, but I’m thinking of instituting some kind of bonding activity for my guys. If any of you know any ropes courses, let me know. I am accepting applications for Offensive and Defensive Coordinator positions. I need someone to tape games, so if you’re a Good Analyzer you’ve got yourself a job. I’m also concerned because I didn’t draft any offensive linemen.
To My Players: Work hard and I will reward you with praise and a signing bonus payable in future playing time on my teams, both Fantasy and Madden.
Let this note be a Message to the other Shmoes in my League: tamper with my players and I will report your ass to the commissioner. Try stealing my playbook and I will Jack You Up. If you want a clue to my Stratego, check out the Wing-T I just lodged up your tailpipe.
One of you people took my Binaca.
Comments
Feel free to leave a comment...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!