Aug.03.2007 MacGyver figures out how to detect cervical cancer
“I’ll need a bottle of vinegar, cotton gauze and a bright light! IMMEDIATELY.”
“This is a landmark study,” said Dr. Harshad Sanghvi, medical director at JHPIEGO, an international health organization affiliated with Johns Hopkins University that has worked on preventing cervical cancer in poor countries. Sanghvi was unconnected to the Lancet study.
Cervical cancer is largely preventable. It causes about 250,000 deaths every year and is the second-most common cancer in women. Nearly 80 percent of those women are in the developing world.
The visual screening test is done by a nurse or trained health care worker who washes a woman’s cervix with vinegar and gauze using a speculum to hold it open. After one minute, any pre-cancerous lesions turn very white and can be seen with the naked eye under a halogen lamp.
It’s so simple! All those times that I inserted vinegar into women’s loins, I don’t know how I didn’t figure it out!
Additionally, I discovered that sex with me will not only cure cervical cancer and breast cancer, but also increase women’s lifespans by 15 years! Even if women don’t have cancer, it will prevent you from ever getting it. It’s inexplicable. For some reason, it works only for supermodels and women with large breasts though. But it totally works.
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