Aug.02.2007 Bobby Brown is a mess. Even for a crackhead.
I remember being about 4 or 5 and really liking Bobby Brown’s solo hit, “My Prerogative”. Bobby Brown made me want to get a high-top fade (not really) and learn how to boogie (also not really). But ever since getting with Whitney Houston, he’s been a mess. Or he’s always been a mess but now it’s public. Anyway, I digress, the point is that Osama Bin Laden’s trying to kill him.
Brown said in Melbourne: “I figure if Bin Laden wants me, and everybody is looking for him, it probably won’t happen. But if he wants to try and find me for something so stupid, he can do what he wants. I have to leave it in the hands of my higher power.
“Come on, if anybody [else was] threatened by Al Qaeda, they’d take it seriously.”
The singer took off his shirt at one point “unveiling his sweaty, abdominally challenged torso [and mysteriously wet crotch]” and the audience screamed with laughter, but were dead silent when he tried to get them to do a “call and response,” wrote one reviewer in the Herald Sun.
Brown’s been worried about Bin Laden ever since writer Kola Boof and an alleged Bin Laden mistress said the terrorist wanted Brown killed so that he could make Whitney Houston one of his wives. But Brown and Houston divorced last year.
He makes a compelling argument. If Bin Laden were, say, targeting the President, we’d all be like, “THAT BIN LADEN’S TARGETING THE PRESIDENT.” But if Bin Laden targets Bobby Brown, we mutter “Shut up cracky” under our breath and pretend he’s talking to himself. And the effect would be the same for Bin Laden either way: Our rich American tapestry would fall apart without our President and without Bobby Brown.
I wake up every day and thank God for Bobby Brown. If I didn’t have that, I, along with millions of other Americans, would be completely directionless. Be careful Bobby. Be very careful.
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