The Blog of Hilarity is often visited by special guests. We received a handwritten note from one of our favorite sports prognosticators, Room Tone’s QW. Here’s what he had to say about Barry Bonds’ new Home Run record.

So last night, Barry Bonds hit his Seven Hundred and Fifty-Sixth Home Run, and I watched. Don’t act like you didn’t, because I know you’ve been watching this show too. We’ve all been following Barry’s story for years, and we’ve all been trying to figure out how it was gonna End. Let me be the first to say: I TOLD YOU SO.

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I wrote in my space about 60 days ago the following:

“Barry Bonds will break the all-time home run record. And he will do it by knocking one out of the park. PRINT IT. Also, nobody important will be killed off.”

And here we are. Over one thousand Hours Later, and Barry Bonds has broken the all-time home run record. And on top of it, he did it by KNOCKING ONE OUT OF THE PARK. Breathe in my predictive capacity, America. A lot of you Yahoos speculated about how he was going to do it. Dave From The Internet swore he would do it by socking a Dinger while decapitating Hank Aaron. Violet Beauregard said — and I might be paraphrasing — that the streets would run with blood. She said that when Barry got surly with those reporters by his locker that time, that was him giving us a clue to how he was gonna do it.

Well, here we are. Dave From The Internet. No Dinger was socked. For that matter, no fence was cleared, no bomb hit, no ball bopped, no bones were piled. What did happen — and you can go rewind your VCRs if you don’t believe me on this — was one was knocked out of the park.

But just because I called it doesn’t mean it was great. It gives me no satisfaction to report to you on this Crappy Episode. After he did what he did, no one shot flames out of their eyes and nobody got Naked. I thought something cool was gonna happen when that old guy showed up on the video screen in his suit. It was totally set up for him to issue the Challenge to Barry for them Settle This Issue Like Men. But he didn’t. He said some stuff, I guess. And everyone smiled.

I kept watching this show waiting for the build-up to pay off with something awesome, like a brawl or Settling This Issue Like Men. But Here We Are. Just like I called it, he knocked one out of the part. I was right and all of you were wrong. What a Crappy Show. You owe me money.

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