Sophie Monk: Less attractive when not in bikini

Jul.24, 2008 in Celebrity Nonsense, Girls I Would Copulate With

You may recall the amazing photos floating around the Internet yesterday of Sophie Monk looking ridiculously hot in a sheer bikini. Turns out that girls in bikinis are hotter than girls not in bikinis. Exhibit A:

I know occasionally I have “unrealistic expectations of women” and perhaps I want them to not “be real” or “look ugly” but seriously what the fuck. I don’t think it’s SO unreasonable for me to not want you to have pit stains on your t-shirt. I don’t care HOW hot it is out. We could be on the surface of the sun and I will say to you, “Um…sup with the sweat? Didn’t realize I was dating Orson Welles.” I don’t think it’s so much to ask that you have all of your sweat glands removed and have any toxins that stay in your body as a result removed via painful surgeries (that don’t scar…so HELP me if I see a single scar). But other than that, I’m just a guy looking for a simple gal to share good times with.