Jul.31.2008 New study says fitness in a pill is possible
Fatties of the world rejoice! A pill that simulates exercise may be not too far away, based on testing on mice that turned them into superstar athletes.
Results published today in the journal Cell show the drugs turn ordinary mice into trim marathon champions. There should be no shortage of volunteers ready see if they do they same in humans.
The two drugs, which go by their scientific names AICAR and GW1516, have two different target demographics: Couch potatoes might consider AICAR, which seems to build endurance and encourage fat burning through the same molecular processes that go on during real exercise. GW1516 may be more for athletes, because it boosted endurance even more but only if the mice did about 30 minutes of treadmill running a day
Study leader Ronald Evans of the Salk Institute started by genetically engineering mice to have unusual physical endurance and a seeming inability to store fat no matter how much they ate. He then studied how the altered gene worked, and sought drugs that would do the same thing.
Evans said he thinks the drugs could have the biggest and most immediate benefit for people with muscular dystrophy, other muscle-wasting diseases, or disabilities that make exercise impossible. But the promise of exercise-in-a-pill will be seductive to everyone from the mildly flabby weekend warrior to the aspiring Olympic medalist.
Honestly, I work out regularly and I’d still take this shit in a heartbeat. Granted, it has to have some sort of horrific side-effect, like it would make my left testicle blow up or something, but the gym is pretty boring and filled with sweaty men. I’d much rather do something in the comfort of my own home. And moderate the number of sweaty men I have coming in and out. Seems like a pretty good deal to me.
The only problem is that fatsos love eating so much, they’d probably eat like 20 of these in one sitting and end up completely disappearing. Wait, did I say “the only problem”? Because that probably makes it even more awesome that we could exterminate them too. Man, this pill has everything I want. If it made me ejaculate too, I’d never need anything else in life ever. Except love. :(
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