Everyone’s favorite story of “sort of attractive teacher fucks minor” is back! This time, it’s a 29 year-old and a Buffalo high school teacher who were found after going missing for a day.

A missing 14-year-old student and his female teacher both have been found safe — he in a Hamburg mall, she found sleeping in her car in Springville.

Nicholas G. DeJesus, a South Buffalo Charter School student from West Seneca, had been missing since he left the school on South Park Avenue without permission Monday afternoon.

Teacher Cara Dickey, 29, of Clarence had been escorted from the school after her suspension Monday morning.

Ellis provided few details about Dickey’s suspension or any possible relationship between the student and teacher.

“What we do know is that the student and the teacher were found separately,” Ellis told reporters in a short briefing outside the school. “We have no idea about them being together.”

Officials said Dickey, who is married, was located between 11:30 a.m. and noon today, about an hour after the boy was found.

I mean, she’s not like super hot…kinda chubby, could stand to do a little cardi…OH WAIT THIS IS BUFFALO. OH MAN, SHE’S LIKE THE HOTTEST THING TO EVER STEP FOOT ANYWHERE NEAR RALPH WILSON STADIUM STADIUM!!! I mean, have you ever MET a girl from Buffalo? They generally look like…uh…well, a buffalo.

It’d be pretty funny though if they both just disappeared independently of each other though and your mind automatically assumes that they were boning something fierce. Try proving you didn’t have sex with a minor when you disappear at the same time. Seriously, try. Because I’m not succeeding at it. Do you know how hard it is to browse the Internet when you know that your laptop could get confiscated again at any time? Sigh.

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