Yesterday, we talked about how we received a publicist email talking about how Miley Cyrus loves the Coffee Bean. Included in that pitch was an offer for free product and FREE HIGH-RES COFFEE BEAN IMAGES. Well now, half of that bargain has been lived up to. And my expectations have been EXCEEDED. Prepare to fight me to the death for the love of the Coffee Bean, Miley Cyrus.

Ooh check out how dripping wet you are. God I just want to run my tongue up and down your body, winding up inside your froth hole. Mmm that whipped cream looks like soft serve ice cream. For something so refreshingly cold, you are so hot baby.

I like you even more than your friend. You’re lighter, which appeals to my racism. I just want to stick my genitals inside your froth hole. Will you let me? Yeah you will. You’re a dirty frappuccino aren’t you? You like when I smack your bottom, don’t you? SAY MY NAME COFFEE BEAN, SAY MY NAAAAAME.

Yes it’s that easy to get me to shill a product (and, ostensibly, have sex with it). Entertaining, intentionally or not, email + high-res images + free stuff = Me being a whore! See what you missed out on, advertisers??