Mortal Kombat murder? Huh?

May.19, 2008 in News to Annoy

Video games are always a popular target/failsafe to pass the buck and accountability for a crime committed. But a Mortal Kombat murder just seems odd.

A Johnstown teenager has been ordered to stand trial after a 7-year-old girl in his care died in what police said was a beating that imitated the “Mortal Kombat” video game.

A Weld County judge ruled Friday there was enough evidence to warrant a trial for Lamar Roberts, 17, accused of child abuse resulting in the Dec. 6 death of Zoe Garcia and child abuse resulting in serious injury. A trial date will be set after a June 20 court hearing.

Zoe died of blunt-force trauma to the head after she was hit, kicked and slammed to the floor as the teens reportedly re-enacted the video game, authorities have alleged. The two were baby-sitting while the sisters’ mother, Dana Trujillo, 30, was at work.

Roberts later told a friend, Janee Cardenas, “he was doing martial arts on her (Zoe) and that his hands were registered weapons,” Halldorson said.

It’s always pretty smart to brag in really lame ways after killing a 7 year-old. It’s unfortunate that this incident happened because I bet that this Lamar Roberts was a real winner. He could have been many great things. Like a test subject for new medicines. Or perhaps the manager of a poorly trafficked Taco Bell. Truly a shame that he will probably be in jail forever.

I do find it odd though to emulate Mortal Kombat of all games. That game came out like 12 years ago, maybe we should update what we’re going to try to do when murdering people. Or at least be more clever when imitating an old game. For example, the next time I kill someone, I’m going to paint them blue, eat a “power pellet” (not sure yet if it’ll be shrooms, meth, or E), and then eat them alive. Then I’ll wash it down with a nice cherry, ideally one the size of my body. Then you can call me the Donkey Kong Killer, because you’re not too good at getting references.