May.14.2007 My teacher pulled a gun on me and all I got was wet pants
When I think about all the invaluable lessons I learned in sixth grade, I think of algebra, Lord of the Flies, a first grope of a boob (the odd thing being I learned this all in the same class…Quadratic Fondling Literature). However, one thing I don’t think of is what I should do when attacked by a gun-wielding madmen played by one of my teachers. I guess I grew up in a simpler time.
The mock attack Thursday night was intended as a learning experience and lasted five minutes during the weeklong trip to a state park, said Scales Elementary School Assistant Principal Don Bartch, who led the trip.
“We got together and discussed what we would have done in a real situation,” he said.
During the last night of the trip, staff members convinced the 69 students that there was a gunman on the loose. They were told to lie on the floor or hide underneath tables and stay quiet. A teacher, disguised in a hooded sweat shirt, even pulled on locked door.
Well, there’s got to be a logical explanation for them to do this. Maybe these kids had said, “We should learn more practical advice, like something John McClane would teach us” One thing I can’t seem to find in the story is why they did it or what the point was. It was in Tennessee, so maybe they were teaching them a little lesson about the duplicitous Union. At the very least, they must be very contrite.
Principal Catherine Stephens declined to say whether the staff members involved would face disciplinary action, but said the situation “involved poor judgment.”
Fine use of vagueries, Catherine. Just to give you an idea of things that could fall under the vast umbrella of “involved poor judgment” in my own life:
–Unprotected sex
–Not stretching before working out
–Pouring three week-old milk on my cereal
–Not getting my oil changed every 3000 miles on the dot
–The mass genocide of one million Canadians
And so on…it runs quite the gamut. You know who would think this is a great idea though? Farfur. Perhaps he should be the principal. At least you know what you’re getting: an intolerant mouse. Ms. Stephens isn’t as upfront and lacks the mouselike appeal.
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