May.01.2007 Bites of Hilarity: R. Kelly is no Zeta
In an entirely unique concept that has never been done before, here’s an end of day round-up of the items fit to cover, just not quite enough to write an entire post about.
–R. Kelly’s releasing a song for the Virginia Tech tragedy. The message being that teens need to be sprayed with urine, not buckshots. Besides, the brave souls at “Virigina” have already received a fine tribute from articulate, positive hip-hopster Zeta.
–Gas company BP’s CEO John Browne is resigning as the result of a court ruling that an interview a man whom Browne had a relationship with can be published. His resignation means he loses a $6.9 million bonus that would have been due, plus all other financial obligations owed him. What kind of deviant stuff would you have to have done to lose that kind of money? Dead monkey sex? Crazy leprechaun fetish? Perhaps lighting his genitals on fire with Amoco’s gas?
–A Pennsylvania woman thought she found treasure when she found an old wooden box buried in her backyard. Fortunately, she wasn’t in desperate need of the money as she already owns a modern five-bedroom home in Toontown. Primary suspect Wile E. Coyote could not be reached for comment.
I read today that R Kelly has an arrest warrant… he missed his tour date. Man, I like his music, but he is getting into a whole lot of trouble with the cops! We’ll see what happens… I suppose his career will be put on hold if he is sent to jail.