Britney’s womb is loaded up again

Feb.28, 2008 in Celebrity Nonsense

In the annals of great ideas, none comes even close to approaching the unprecedented genius that is Britney Spears popping out another child with a paparazzo who’s looking to cash in. You can’t make up such storybook romance.

Only weeks after Britney Spears drove to Rosarita Beach, Mexico to exchange marriage vows with Adnan Ghalib, the paparazzo is bragging to friends that she is going to have his baby, Star has learned exclusively.

And what do you know! The fallen pop princess’ belly is starting to show a little bulge, in spite of hours of classes at the Millennium Dance Complex.

“Britney is Adnan’s dream come true. He knows that if he has a child with Brit, he’ll be made for life,” one friend of Adnan’s tells Star.

But while Adnan, 35, may be happy, Britney’s family is not. Dad Jamie has stabilized her life and the last thing he and her mom Lynne wants is another grandchild. “Her parents know she can’t handle more children,” says a Spears family source.

I hate to be crude but sounds like a case for old Doctor Marten. Or perhaps Nurse Coathanger. Or First Lietuenant Flight O’Stairs. If you’re desperate, Lady Gwenevere Twobyfour Tu DeGut.

You kind of have to admire Adnan’s stick-to-itiveness. There’s no way she was willing taking unprotected batches from him. I bet he had to get crafty. Like randomly pulling off his condom prior to ejaculation and pretending it’s a sock puppet. Then after Wiggles the Latex Puppet enthralled Britney with his antics and theories on spatial reasoning, Adnan was free to aim his boys directly to her cervix. They don’t teach you that one in health class, kids.