From IsThisHappening…

Yes, that’s Danielle “Topanga” Fishel making out with some slut at McFadden’s at NYC. And apparently, this wasn’t the only girl she made out with that night. Which is cool if she was all like, “Yeahhhhh chicksssss” but less cool if she was like “OMG I AM SO DRUNK WATCH ME MAKE OUT WITH GIRLS, EVERYONE” and even less cool if she’s like a real lesbian because like, let’s be honest, that really doesn’t benefit me at all. Girls being all about other girls was cool when I was like 10, but I’ve really been numbed to it in many ways by now. Unless there’s multiple girls, a cup, and tremendous shame involved, it barely registers to me.

I’ve always thought randomly shouting things at women on the street in an effort to bed them was a little bizarre. Apparently, catcalling is simultaneously as awful as and less awful than I built it up to be.

As the weather warms each spring, women — especially in cities with active sidewalk traffic — once again face catcalls from men. It’s a situation some find unnerving and an invasion of their space, while others ignore or are even flattered by.

“I call it street abuse,” says New York City filmmaker Maggie Hadleigh-West, 49. “It’s unwanted attention and invasion of space.”

Yeah I agree. If you’re harassing a 49 year-old woman, you may want to take a long, hard look in the mirror. Then again, women are kind of delusional about who is or isn’t hitting on them sometimes. It was probably a guy handing out menopause brochures and she was all like, “HEY BUDDY, I WILL NOT HAVE SEX WITH YOU” and he was like, “Ummm…k!” She was probably really proud of herself that day.

On the other hand, some women appreciate the attention in certain cases, like Jessica, a 31-year-old health-care educator in Los Angeles, who declined to use her last name to protect her privacy. “Yeah, it’s objectifying and all, but you know, if I walked down the street and didn’t have men looking me up and down and catcalling, I’d think, ‘Boy I must really be getting old and dumpy’,” she says.

She’s gotten catcalls just walking her parents’ dog in baggy sweats. “I thought it was hysterical, like, ‘Boy, doesn’t take much to impress you, does it?’”

It’s true. Once you’re 31, you are old and dumpy. However, this really ties into the deep psychological issues inflicted upon women by society. The ills of magazines like Vogue or shows like Sex and the City promote a negative view of women that can make women feel less significant. Or you’re all insecure bitches who constantly need to be told you’re pretty so that you can walk around in life without collapsing on the floor in a pool of tears. Probably the latter.

The site HollaBackNYC.blogspot.com encourages New Yorkers to snap pictures of street harassers and then post them.

Emily May, 27, and six of her friends were inspired to create the site in 2005 after a young New York woman used her camera phone to take a photo of a man who was looking at her while touching himself on the subway. The picture led to his arrest. (Such behavior is, according to New York state law, a misdemeanor offense). The blog has spawned similar sites in other major cities such as Chicago and San Francisco.

The site is a way to encourage dialogue, says May. “I think sites like ours can help women see that they’re not alone, that it happens to women in all walks of life by men in all walks of life, and that it’s not okay.”

It’s time for men to take the power back in the Holla Back infrastructure. Next time you feel compelled to yell something at a woman in an effort to get into her pants, throw a banana at her. She’ll be so confused and the key to bagging hot babes is doing the unexpected. That’s why I like to call rape “Surprise Sex”. Girls love surprises. Makes it sound way more fun, I think.

According to existing studies and her own findings, Kearl says, some men are simply ignorant about how their behavior is perceived. Kearl, who completed her thesis, “Direct Action, Education, Consciousness-Raising, Activism and the Internet: Methods for Combating Street Harassment,” last year, thinks posting on Web sites like HollaBackNYC is preferable to resorting to anger and violence.

“A lot of men have no idea that women don’t like being talked to in this way,” she says. “It never crosses their mind, and yelling doesn’t educate them. If you yell, they often don’t understand why you are upset and so they take it personally.”

If a woman tried to fight be because I said something like, “Hey doll, nice gams!” or something I’d probably just laugh and let her punch me. It’s like letting a kitten swat at you with its little paws. It’s like, “Aww look at the lil kitty! You’re a feisty one aren’t you? Wuzza wuzza.” Though I probably wouldn’t find myself crying later in the night if the kitty refused my sexual advances. Well, not again. Damn sexy cats and your misleading ways.

I’m not a fan of rooting for the success of people who aren’t me. So you can imagine how annoyed I am seeing a story about a 10 year-old who’s in college.

With the end of another school year approaching, college sophomore Moshe Kai Cavalin is cramming for final exams in classes such as advanced mathematics, foreign languages and music.

But Cavalin is only 10 years old. And at 4-foot-7, his shoes don’t quite touch the floor as he puts down a schoolbook and swivels around in his chair to greet a visitor.

“I’m studying statistics,” says the alternately precocious and shy Cavalin, his textbook lying open on the living room desk of his parents’ apartment in this quiet suburb east of Los Angeles.

Within a year, if he keeps up his grades and completes the rest of his requirements, he hopes to transfer from his two-year program at East Los Angeles College to a prestigious four-year school and study astrophysics.

It’s not AS impressive when you consider the fact that other prepubescents have gone to REAL college right away. In fact, I’d say this kid is probably lagging. GOOD. And I’m glad he broke his lil wrist too.

All jokes aside, if this little guy were in one of my classes in college, I’d rape him. Nothing gay. Just to show him that, hey, I’m the man here. You’re infringing. And he’d be all like, “Why are you raping me!” and I’d be like, “Maybe you should have been a little less smart. Or slightly more smart to have gone to a more prestigious university. Either one of the two.” And he’d go like, “Awww” and then I’d do it and break his other wrist because kids suck and should be confined to places I’m not at or my dungeon.

The Catholic church is known for all kinds of crazy things. Well, even ideas that aren’t that crazy, I’m going to present as such. For example: The Vatican says there might be aliens.

Believing that the universe may contain alien life does not contradict a faith in God, the Vatican’s chief astronomer said in an interview published Tuesday.

The Rev. Jose Gabriel Funes, the Jesuit director of the Vatican Observatory, was quoted as saying the vastness of the universe means it is possible there could be other forms of life outside Earth, even intelligent ones.

“How can we rule out that life may have developed elsewhere?” Funes said. “Just as we consider earthly creatures as ‘a brother,’ and ’sister,’ why should we not talk about an ‘extraterrestrial brother’? It would still be part of creation.”

In the interview by the Vatican newspaper L’Osservatore Romano, Funes said that such a notion “doesn’t contradict our faith” because aliens would still be God’s creatures. Ruling out the existence of aliens would be like “putting limits” on God’s creative freedom, he said.

I guess it makes sense. This would open up many creative possibilities for the Catholic church. They have a relatively weak presence in certain less-civilized regions so, finally, a priest could fuck an ET and pretend it’s an Ethiopian boy. Everyone wins!

Xenu will not be pleased by the Catholics honing in on his turf. Would you cross a super badass extraterrestrial dictator who banished people to Earth? I sure wouldn’t. He’d probably hold his ray gun to your head and demand all kinds of favors. Earthly and galactic delights (i.e. space sodomy)? Now there’s a religious figure I can get behind.

The hottest orgy with an androgynous Jessica Alba

–Uh why is Jessica Alba dressed up like Charlie Chaplin in Allure? Why would you allow this? [Popsugar]

–Yay footage of the new NCAA Football ‘09 video game. [Loser with Socks]

–Austria does a good job of getting people naked. [Cuzoogle]

–Today’s reminder of why high school girls are better than you. [The Angry T]

–A blond girl with big boobs wants to be a Playmate? No way. I find that quite dubious sirs! [Busted Coverage]